Transcripts

Along with thunder thighs and a tendency to hoard junk from the 1970's I inherited the Francis gene that prohibits me from mailing letters. It's not that I don't have stamps around, Brad mails things all the time, and I do know how to properly address an envelope-I just loath the idea of sending a letter. I can't explain why exactly but somewhere between putting the stamp on and writing the address I just give up and set the letter aside. I probably have a birthday card for you sitting on the hutch in a pile of exiled letters that will never make it to their rightful receivers. If you come and visit me I probably will not give you your card because it's a little embarrassing when you say "Merry Christmas, Mom! Oh and here is your birthday card from May in your stocking".
I have been putting of ordering my transcripts because I assumed it would require some level of letter sending and/or mail forwarding on my part. Seeing as my classes should start in three weeks, and I had yet to register I had two choices in front of me: Face my family after they found out I had put off school yet another semester or Face my Uspsphobia. I called the PYLUSD transcript office with a pen in hand, ready to send them what they needed to forward my records.
Turns out, you don't need to do anything to have your transcripts faxed. It took all of two seconds, I just gave them my college's address and off they went. If my sister had been here she would have rolled her eyes much as she will when she reads this. All the late nights I layed awake fretting about the deadline I wouldn't meet and the records that wouldn't be sent to be handled in one swift phonecall.

No Aliens, Psychopaths or MTV hosts scare me like....Vampires that glitter in the sun.

And fans of Vampires that glitter in the sun as well.
I worked the Breaking Dawn book release on Friday night. We had some activities that included a costume contest, bookmark making station, and a debate between Edward (glittery vamp) and Jacob (teen wolf). The debate got HEATED and raged on with arguments like "Dogs suck", "Edward is cuter than Jacob" and my personal favorite "Ladies want their men hard like a Vampire". I think the best part of the last argument was that the statement was made by a 60+ year old female that reminded me of Dixie Wetsworth from Cabana Chat.
The highlight of the night was when Brad's sister read Tarot Cards and posed as a psychic vampire. A sad looking vampire came and asked her "Will I make a friend soon?" Kajsa, having never read tarot, flipped over a card only to reveal a girl standing alone with a rain cloud hovering overhead. Sad-pire then asked "Well, will I find love soon?" Kajsa flipped over the next card which happened to be none other than Satan himself. At a loss for words she just nodded her head an apologetic no.

Back!

Yes! I am done with inventory season at work so I can now get back to the blog.
Couple things:
-The Rocky Dennis Mask
-Llamas

I'll start with Averie's new favorite animal, the Momma (llama). I decided to take her to the Sri Sri Radha Krishna Temple in Spanish Fork to visit the Llama farm and peacock sanctuary last week and she is still talking about the Mommas and the "Scary People". I didn't think the 6 foot tall deities would scare her to the point of screams-I was wrong. If you ever really want to offend a religious group just have your child scream "Nooo! Scary monsters get me! Noooo!" at their gods.

Next,
The Rocky Dennis Mask. It's so wrong, it's almost right.

Honest Abe

Well,
Averie has been into 2 new things: Munneeees (money), and Pwa Kwets (pockets). Pwa Kwets can be tricky, (and bummies can be hungry, but that is another story for tomorrow) so sometimes when Averie wants to put her Munneeees in her Pwa Kwets she actually puts them in her diaper. In turn, when I get around to take her diaper off she has pennies stuck all over her...areas...Which means I have to pick them off of her....areas..... which leaves little Abe Lincoln heads all over her...areas. As Averie put it "Averies has the boys on the bums".
Hopefully those are the only boys interested in her bum for a veeerrrrry long time....like until she is 30.

DIY yo!

My Mother-in-law and I came up with these cute flower garnishes because we couldn't find any flower looking candies at the grocery store. We made "Dirt Desserts" (ice cream and Oreo Sundays with gummy worms on top) for her garden party tomorrow.





Candy Ribbon
Gum Drops (I used DOTS)
Peach Rings
Tooth Picks
Scissors
1. Cut flaps in the Candy Ribbon (but be sure not to cut the pieces off)
2. Wrap your Gum Drop in the ribbon (give it a little skirt)
3. Squish your gumdrop into the Peach Ring and fold the flaps of your Candy Ribbon back and use your toothpick as your stem!
These work best if your Ribbon is a little stiff, otherwise your flower will close up.

Hurry up and fix it Hooter!

I took a trip down memory lane today.
First: Captain EO
It saddens me when I meet people that have been to Disneyland and do not know the C EO. Now you have no excuse to leave me hangin' during the chorus of "Change the World".



Also,
MAYNARD! I loved Maynard-especially on the Haunted Mansion where he would pop out at you (on the left) as your Doom Buggy departed the loading dock and crept into the darkness.

Debt Relief from my Debt Relief

So, today Bradley and I woke up and said "We are going to be adults. We are going to GET OUT OF DEBT!". First we ran our credit reports (for the first time ever I might add), then we called on some non-profit debt management firms. Unfortunately none of the firms we talked to were really non profit. Money Management International ran our credit reports, (which kind of sucks in retrospect because that is another ding on our credit) figured out our monthly expenses, yearly incidentals and total unsecured debt (a whopping 15G's baby). Everything was going great. I was sure that we were going to be taken care of and then WHAM! Our debt consultant said the Red Flag word: "Start up Fee". Whoosh! Another Red Flag: "Monthly Fee". Flags were being raised left and right. This company wanted us to pay a start up fee of $600.00 to have them start an account for us, and on top of it NONE of that money would go toward our initial money owed. Our next month's payment of $525.00 would be dispersed as minimum payments to our creditors. At that rate we would be out of debt in 2012. In addition to paying MMI we would need to: Pay our car payment, childcare, gas and all other "secured bills". No thank you. I think I will take my $600.00 and put it toward knocking out that hefty Victoria's Secret and Express account I owe. Minimum payments are what got me in this mess in the first place.
**Doogie Howser diary scene background music begins to play**
All in all I learned a valuable lesson today, and feel pretty dang empowered. I can take care of this stuff. I think the hardest part about this whole experience was facing the truth that I made some huge financial mistakes. The best part about today was knowing that I am actually taking steps to repair my credit and the realization that I can fix it myself.
"do de de deeee do do"

The Tiny Ugly Germs have made me sick

As texters say "UGH", I feel like poo. I think I have the plague...or maybe it is just strep throat. Either way, I am taking a cocktail of amoxicillin, daytime and nighttime cold relief and enough vitamin C to cure a sailor's scurvy. So I have some time on my hands.

The other night I came home from work and Averie came right up to me and said "Mommies say 'I love you'. Daddies say 'Pffft.'" That's deep. Brad swears there was absolutely no coaching to create that statement.

Averie's other new thing is to wake up every night screaming that there are bugs in her bed. Just to be safe, I checked for bed bugs (I watch a lot of Discovery Channel's Verminators show). The only thing I can figure is that she is having nightmares about "Buggies getchoo", which is what she is screaming at the top of her lungs. What do I do? Do I go out and buy Bugs Life or do I avoid any and everything bug related? Why is my kid such a wubby? I would like to think that Brad and I are pretty adventurous people and have tried to teach her that life is fun. Averie is literally scared of everything (except strangers). In attempt #2 to take her to Disneyland she screamed and cried the whole time in the Tikki Room, Princess Fair and Toon Town. The only part of the day she enjoyed was the shuttle bus from the hotel to the Park. She is still talking about the bus ride and how she wants to go do it again.
We are planning our next summer vacation: UTA shuttle to the University Mall. If she is lucky we may take the Trax all the way north to Murray.

Facial Research

My friend Jess showed me this facial transformation site where you can upload your photo, symmetries your face and morph it into all kinds of things. To say the least-it was freaky. Here are a couple of morphs we did: Julie at 75 (above), Brad at 75, Baby Bearded Brad and Tranny Brad (with beard-she doesn't mess around).




What a Freakshow. More to come when I have more time to fool around with peoples faces.

My Plate

So, I have been eating DAIRY again in an attempt to live a somewhat normal life. I was getting sick of turning down food and having people secretly hate me because I refused to eat what they had cooked for me. My dear friend Jess showed me a great site called www.thedailyplate.com
where I can track my calories, points, kilos, stones or whatever I want. Its pretty neat and I feel like I am somewhat understanding what it means to watch what I eat. My goal is to maintain my weight a healthy, and NORMAL way. Check it out, I think it's great so far.

So this is the world of Blogging eh? After many minutes of deliberation and two, i repeat TWO, family members telling me to get a blog going I gave in. As I am a newcomer to this cyberspace web of internet diaries you must allow myself to introduce, myself.

Myself

More introductions await you readers of blogs, so here we go!

Brad: The Husband and Father


Averie: The sneaky pooper.

We live in Utah, and do your basic Utah resident things...You know, have a yearly baby, participate in plural marriage and vote republican. We are your typical Utahn family.